“God is bigger than the boogie man.” -Veggie Tales (respect)

Tonight, some of us came together to pray for a family in our neighborhood whose husband has left the home,  leaving his wife and two daughters.  At least, it started that way.  It soon became about the neighborhood, about each other, about the trials great and small that we all seem to be facing right now.  It became about a mother who was at the hospital because of complications with her unborn baby.  It became a confession that in many ways, we could really love each other a lot better than we have been.

The most beautiful part of my relationship with Jesus is also the part of my faith that I struggle with the most.  Every time I give up my burden, I cast my cares and my worries upon Him (I was told to do that, don’t worry), I feel the lightness of freedom and I sense the peace that comes from releasing that weight out of my hands and out of my control.

But way, way, WAY too many times, I am obsessed with controlling my own destiny.  I am driven by this desire to somehow have a say in concepts I don’t understand and details I can’t possibly master.  I get weighted down by the unknowns, the what-ifs, the possibilities.

Such a powerful reminder tonight that it’s actually a blessing that I can’t control much of anything.  I can’t save a marriage on my own, I can’t restore daughters back to their father, I can’t ensure that a mother and her child are healthy, and I can’t possibly decipher and know the reasons for why good and bad things happen to me and those around me.  All I can do is trust in the fact that there is one that knows my name, knows my path and has the Story written out to perfection.

And pray for my friend, whom I love very much.  There is a family, a neighborhood, a community, and a Father who can’t wait for him to come home.

This is what happens when a hundred thoughts get stuck at the exit between my brain and my fingers…

I post videos instead.  I know, this isn’t really a proud moment for any of us.  But it’s where we’re at until I can shake off this insufferable writer’s block.  The worst part is I’ve been wanting to write more than ever, but I sit at my keyboard and can’t figure it out.

Bleh.

But I come with good news.  So many of you (zero) have asked me if I could recommend for them a quality alt-mariachi band.  Yes, alt-mariachi.  Luckily, I have just the band for you.  Normally known as The Bronx, this band launched a side-project called Mariachi El Bronx in the last few years and have now made two fairly intriguing concept albums.  I didn’t hear about this band until their work on the EP from Armistice last year (one of my favorite albums of 2011), which of course features my favorite French-Canadian ever in Béatrice Martin.

Don’t have much energy to put much down…

But I wanted to post a song that has been incredibly helpful in getting me to relax during a couple of pretty stressful weeks.  I’m eventually going to do a Top 50 song blowout, and this song will be on it.  From what I know of Carla Bruni, she is an Italian model and now the First Lady of France (married to President Nicolas Sarkozy).  Somehow she also became a songwriter and helped write this song.  I didn’t learn the words until later (luckily it was nothing…you know…horrendous), but I have loved this particular bit of music since I first heard it in 2004.

Marathon week…

I feel like a complete zombie this weekend.  For reasons that seemed logical at the time and still do now (ha, see what I did there?), I worked for over 24 hours at work to help a study get off the ground.  Considering how well it got off the ground and how big the group was, it was time well worth it.  But it still wiped me out, so the 5 hour nap yesterday was worth it.

But I did have enough strength to watch a movie with my friends Alex and Kathy.  We saw Crazy, Stupid Love or as I call it: Ryan Gosling’s Abdominals, and it wasn’t bad.  It set a record for how many times I wanted to look away for how uncomfortably awkward the characters’ situations were, but it also had two incredible scenes.

But forget all that.  There was a song…goodness, there was a song.  One of my favorite feelings in the world is the realization that a song I’m listening to is one I already know I’m going to love.

Took me about 5 seconds after walking into my room to look for it and hear it again.  I love that feeling…

Sleep-induced insomnia

So I’m currently sitting in my chair, the result of the lie I bought into that I could possibly go to bed at 8 PM and sleep through the night.  It all sounded so tempting at first.  I was so tired, I felt like I could pass out, and I certainly did.  Little did I know, my body was more interested in just a nap.

So it’s 1 AM, and here I sit.  Stupid body.

Today was insane.  So much happened at work today that made me question whether I should be there or not, question whether I would get removed from there that day or not, and what happens to me as a person the few times I get angry.

The day wasn’t a total loss, as many productive issues came out of the negative experiences.  Good changes and positive conversations are taking place, and that adds a redemptive value to the whole process, which speaks to one of the things I love to see around me.  My heart moves towards seeing restoration in people and the way people work together, so to see so many teachable moments come out of it truly was encouraging by the end of the day.

So much perspective was had in the midst of my “bad” day, as I was told the news that a good friend of mine lost his father today and will be heading down to San Diego for the week.  The wonderful part about it is he found his Father in the last weeks of his life, and his son and the rest of his family can rejoice in that fact.

So grateful for redemption and restoration.  Even years and years later.  Even at the end.

A concert I will never forget…

This past weekend, I had the chance to see Josh Garrels perform at the Q Cafe in Seattle.  A friend of mine introduced me to him by posting his latest album for download on Facebook, and I was hooked after about ten minutes.

The show in itself was simple and intimate.  The passion and the message were something else altogether.  I can’t remember the last musical experience I had where I was practically begging time to slow down, so that the experience wouldn’t end.

I feel like it takes a special songwriter to be able to tap into the real emotional and spiritual depth we all have intrinsically, but yet can rarely seem to put into words and notes.  I’ve tried most of my life to be that person, and it usually ends up a confused mass of rambling emotive phrases.

Could not more highly recommend.

***Photo shamelessly stolen from my friend’s Facebook page.  Sorry, Em.